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Thursday 12 April 2012

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Government to allow porn movies in India to tap huge population for elections in 2014


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A high level committee set up under the guidance of Mahesh Bhatt

Preparing for 2014 elections, the UPA government plans to allow film makers to make porn movies with 'U' and 'A' certificates to attract huge population which is surfing porn on the net. The government has set up a high level committee under the guidance of Mahesh Bhatt to understand the pros and cons of allowing porn movies in India. The decision has came after the government recognised changing taste of Indians towards more wicked movie content and challenge made by Mahesh Bhatt that Indians have no guts of accepting porn movies.



Recently, Indians for Sexual Liberties, a famous organization that is spearheading 'Sexual freedom' movement announced protest at Jantar Mantar, for a 'demonstration with a difference' as prostitutes, pornographic actors and brothel owners prepare to lay siege to the historic monument to demand sexual freedom - legalizing prostitution, sex toys, pornography and homosexuality. It claims to have invited filmmaker Mahesh Bhatt and porn actor Sunny Leone as chief guests. Mahesh Bhatt had recently made a statement "We don't have the guts to accept porn in India."

However, government denied any such kind of movement was behind its decision but told that the government wants to become mature along with the changing needs of Indian people.

"We don't give any fu*king importance to Mahesh Bhatt's comments. He has whole lot of free time to make such useless comments. We are more concern over changing habits of Indian society and therefore we finally planned to set up a high level committee to give their views over allowing porn movies in India. The committee will also segregate the protocols for porn movies for children i.e., U certificate and porn movies for adults, i.e., A certificate porn movies," said Kapil Sibal, Telecom Minister of India who is also invented new role of zero by introducing zero loss theory.

According to Kapil Sibal, the above development will reduce the wastage of time of Indian youth over criticizing, defaming and disparaging humble, kind and good-heart politicians like him.

"These idi*ts always get indulge into faking my photos or calling me stup*d, idi*t and usel*ss on a$$hole sites like India Satire. Because of this new idea I think people will indulge into more productive things than browsing useless sites like India Satire," said Kapil Sibal.

Half-porn Producer and Director Mahesh Bhatt said "This is a good step of the government I believe. For a creative producer like me and director like Vikram, it is always difficult to set a boundary on how much we can go in depths of body chemistry of hero and heroine. However, the government's decision will allow us to cross these theoretical boundaries."

Another half-porn director Vikram Bhatt who will have a significant role in the committee said "I am seriously feeling giggling with this idea. Whatever is in my imagination, now can be reflected in my movies."

Vikram Bhatt, however, regretted that the government's understanding had to change before producing his new movie Hate Story, as he could have given more real and true picture to Indian audience. He also denied all the allegations that there are only those many scenes in the movie which have shown in promos.

The government also appointed Karnataka's sacked ministers for watching porn to help the committee in deciding over the movie selection and the boundaries over child and adult porn movies.

"We think everybody has something to demonstrate. These Karnataka ex-ministers had a great eye to understand human body in depth. They can also help in getting us better movies over sex education for children. However, BJP had a very lack of vision over the use of these ex-ministers in proper direction. I am happy that the government took this decision and now there will be no comparison between 'Garam CDs' and ordinary CDs," said Chacha Digvijay Singh (Diggy Chacha).

While asked him whether the government is trying to attract huge Indian porn viewers to vote in favor of UPA in 2014 elections, he said "This claim is totally wrong and our vision is just to make sure that everybody lives happily in India."


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